Separated fathers: men in crisis

[ANCPR]

Hello to all,

In the story below, Professor Macdonald called for more support services for
men who experience
family breakdown and find it tough.

What would be the purpose of such "support services"?  To help these fathers
accept what has happened to them?  Is he calling for a palliative program
which takes away the pain, and then helps these men accept the fact that
they are now no longer really parents, but "visitors", no longer fathers,
really, but instead a gravy train for the very person who betrayed you?

Better than palliative programs that merely soothe the symptoms, it would be
better to call for reform so that such large numbers of fathers don't feel
so violently wronged that they commit suicide.  Think about it.

Wishing you the best,

Lowell Jaks, ANCPR
http://ancpr.org
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Subject: Separated fathers: men in crisis



http://www.uws.edu.au/media/index.phtml?act=view&story_ID=240

UWS Latest News
Separated fathers: men in crisis

9 September 2002

The pain of separation and divorce is having an alarming effect on the
mental health of Australian males and may be contributing to our high rates
of male suicide according to UWS academics.

Dr David Crawford and Professor John Macdonald from the University's Men's
Health Information and Resource Centre say relationship breakdown and
divorce are leaving many men emotionally broken and unable to cope.

"Australian research shows that divorce is rated as one of the most
distressing life events for men and women," says Professor Macdonald.

"In 2000 there were some 50, 000 divorces - 23, 600 of those were families
with children. With 42% of first marriages failing, we are increasingly
seeing the devastating effects that separation has on people's mental
health and well-being, particularly men who are often an overlooked
casualty in divorce."

Professor Macdonald says this inability to cope with the aftermath of
separation could be one of the reasons for Australia's high rate of male
suicide.

"Recently separated fathers are an extremely high-risk group for suicide
and self-harm," says Professor Macdonald.

"A great proportion of men who go through family breakdown experience
considerable psychological stress. While most of the men begin to cope well
after about two years, a sizeable number do not.

"Research shows that separated men are six times more likely to suicide
than married men and this was greatest in the age group up to 29 years.
Separated males aged 30-54 years are 12 times more likely to suicide than
separated women."

Professor Macdonald believes there are many reasons why men are finding it
difficult to come to terms with their newly-separated status.

"Separated fathers find it tough to cope with basic daily living. These men
have to begin a new life, which is incredibly difficult," he says.

"Many feel an acute loss of family life and their self-identity as a
parent. They also feel disconnected from their children and have
difficulties in establishing new life routines and new friendships."

"Family law and related financial issues are also problematic for separated
fathers. Access to children, court proceedings, maintenance, even false
allegations of abuse have been encountered.

"It's difficult to have a meaningful relationship with your children when
you are allowed little more than fortnightly contact with them."

Professor Macdonald called for more support services for men who experience
family breakdown and find it tough.

"The period immediately after separation is the most difficult time for
such men, however look in the telephone directory for services for
separated fathers and you'll find virtually all the services are for
women," he says.

"The perception seems to be that men should be stoic and 'soldier on' in
silence. It's considered that women are more likely to seek help and
emotional support from friends, doctors, counsellors, religious counsel and
marriage guidance groups.

"Men are reluctant to use such services because they believe that
counselling doesn't work and the services are really for women.

"We need to re-think the community health and counselling services offered
to couples experiencing separation and divorce. We need to establish ways
to make them more appealing and suitable to men of all ages so they are not
left to cope on their own.

"Society also needs to adopt a more inclusive view of families. We must
object to post-divorce arrangements that allow children to become
needlessly distant from their fathers. The mental health of the father must
become a consideration - they are not 'disposable dads'."

Dr Crawford and Professor Macdonald will present their paper, 'Fathers and
the experience of family separation' at the First National Conference On
Mental Health of Persons Affected by Family Separation at Liverpool
Hospital today.

WHEN:   Thursday 10 October 2002
WHERE: Education Centre, Liverpool Hospital
TIME:     1.45pm

For more information or requests for interviews:

Amanda Whibley
Media Officer
Phone: 9678 7472
Mobile: 0418 438 399
Email: a.whibley@uws.edu.au

Ends.





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